Parents:
"How are the children?"
A supervisor of mine in a low-income, underprivileged neighborhood would start every day and every meeting with that question. And Bob Pavlik was always sincere when he asked. He really wanted to know. And he always listened to our responses.
I want to know also and I will listen.
How are your kids?
My guess, especially since you found your way here, is that you are feeling worried, frustrated, maybe really angry, but definitely uncertain about what to do or how to help the young person in your life.
The economy is scary. The impacts of climate change are uncertain, but daunting. Schools are struggling with funding and with effectively preparing our kids. College is expensive. Kids are getting diagnosed with ADHD, feeling depressed, obese, sending 10,000 text messages/month, and spending countless hours staring at screens. Things are tough.
You have an instinct, a gut feeling, about your kid. It is based on your direct experience. It comes from hearing the rumors. You are remembering when you were that age. You look around at what's happening and it scares you - it scares you for them. You know the road ahead is going to be tough for them.
And your instinct is to help your kid.
It is possible to get the teen or young adult in your life headed in a powerful direction.
As a parent you want so bad to give the young person in your life everything they need. You want them to be happy, find things they love doing, be really good at what they do, do well in school, have lots of friends, stay out of trouble, and have an awesome life. But they are struggling and no matter what you do, you feel like an outsider. Your heart aches seeing them in the struggle and wanting them to find their way.
You want to see them use those talents and abilities you know are inside them. It would make you proud to watch them enthusiastically pursue the stuff they are great at and love doing.
It is painful to know that they are struggling, unsettled, overwhelmed. And it’s massively frustrating feeling that you could help, but are not able (or allowed) to. You try out different strategies, you feel guilty about not being around more often, you wonder why other kids (and families) seem to be doing okay, you feel like a failure for not being a good parent. You are ready for it to happen, so they (and you) can feel better.
Why can’t it just be easy?!
I promise that there are ways for everyone to feel better. You can again feel the joy of being a parent, knowing that your kid is on a good path.
In fact, they would never say it or ask for it, but they desperately need you. They spend their days fighting for survival - avoiding getting teased or left out, hoping not to make a humiliating mistake, trying to meet their own expectations. They are on a mission of discovery trying to figure out who they really are while being assaulted by pressure and high expectations.
Unfortunately, right now your patience and your love get lost in your frustration, guilt, and sadness. You feel helpless and uncertain. It's no surprise you keep going back and forth between blaming them, being frustrated at their teachers, wondering about their friends, and doubting yourself.
You are tired of riding the pendulum between trying really hard and throwing your hands up and giving up.
It can be different. It does not have to be this way. There is more than the desperation, frustration, and worry.
A great place to start is with a my complementary Know Yourself workbook and bi-weekly article. The workbook is designed to help you understand the young person in your life.
If you want to feel the freedom and satisfaction of being a successful parent who is really helping your teen, you are in the right place. It is possible to do something the young adult in your life responds to and then uses to make one of those difficult decisions they face at this time of life. It’s important for you to be an essential piece of their successful navigation of this stage of their life! It might look different that you imagine it, but you can make a huge difference.
If you are done struggling and ready for some relief, here is how to get started - my complementary Know Yourself workbook and my bi-weekly yEs-zine.
If you are wondering whether we can help your particular situation, check out our Is This You? page.
"I am massively grateful that my kids are working with you. My daughter told me yesterday that she loves working with you and that it is making a big difference in her life. She feels way, way more confident than she did last semester."
Mike, father of college sophomore
"Morgan's Powerful vision should be required reading for every young person who has ever wondered, questioned, and hoped for something more out of life."
Jay Roberts, Assistant Professor of Education and Environmental Studies, Earlham College, Richmond, IN
Playing Huge.
morgan
