How it works for teenagers
First, it’ll be helpful to remember that everything that happens can become a great and important learning experience. No matter what it going on, in the long run, it can be a “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing.
I believe that trouble is where we discover who we are and build the skills we'll need to succeed. I’ll want to get a feel for what is really going on. I’m not interested in the pretending game and hearing about what you’re supposed to be doing. I want all the crap that you don’t think you’re supposed to be thinking or feeling or saying.
The only way that you’re going to find the confidence to make important choices and handle the consequences of those decisions is to start dealing with reality - not the BS that is far too common in our schools.
I call this discovering the Real You.
The weekly phone conversations and in between text connections will challenge the Real You to push your comfort zone, challenge yourself, and do the things this biggest you knows you want to be doing.
You know as well as I that sitting around playing video games, being lame, spending hour after hour on Facebook, not handling your stuff doesn’t feel good. It’s not who you really want to be.
So, we will spend time learning how to be the Real You. I’m all about helping you become who you really want to be.
There are 3 steps to begin to awaken the Real You.
1. Keep remembering that you are learning
You are not a problem. You are not broken and you are not bad. You are whole, capable, and resourceful. You know this in your heart.
All teenagers are worried how you will make it in the world feeling as insecure as they do (and lots of adults feel the same insecurity...and we’d like to help you avoid becoming one of those adults who is trapped still feeling like a teenager).
In other words, every mistake you make is essential for you future success. It is through dealing with difficulties and challenges that you will discover who you are. We have to guide you into and through all the ugly (and stupid) stuff.
I will hold you whole, capable, and resourceful so you start to feel whole, capable, and resourceful.
It’s just like when you were first learning to walk, you have to learn to fall and then get back up. And then fall again, and again, and again, and again...
You’ll have to confront the places that you usually give up and make excuses, and learn to push through. That’s a great way to start to believe in yourself.
2. Embrace Trouble
When you listen to see and understand, you will see that the right kind of trouble will point you right to where you are vulnerable and thus what you need to learn.
It is so easy to freak out when you get in trouble and miss what is really going on. There are great lessons inside the trouble you are in.
If everything were groovy then you wouldn't be getting into trouble. The trouble you find points directly to something you need to discover the Real You. It just takes listening to uncover it.
Hint #1: if you simply make excuses and avoid responsibility, you’ll just further away from what you really want and the trouble will grow until you wake up
Hint #2: if you can avoid beating yourself up for "causing" the trouble or not being good enough, that will make things way easier for everyone.
This is the time of life when you begin to face the great unknown, that means you'll have to turn away from what you know and find your independance. You have to do this because you’re trying to answer the question “Can I make it in the world on my own?"
3. Jedi Mentorship
On the journey, you’re gonna need a confidant who has been down the path you are on and can guide where you are going. You might think it’s your parents (or not!) and as much as you'd prefer that, there is something essential about your community expanding beyond your parents. You need mentors, role models, and/or adults who are authentic and have found their way. You’ll need a mentor, or mentors, who will both help you see what is possible for you and compassionately, and passionately, push you into action.
Here is the opportunity that sits before you: learn who you are. Learn from the experience of living and making mistakes; learn how to take those failures and turn them into valuable tools that will make your life amazing.
If this makes sense to you, and more importantly, sounds like it will help you wake up and start feeling alive, start out with the free Discover the Real You guidebook and the youtube videos about discovering yourself.
And, if you are still on the fence, you may still be caught in the myth of the “Right” path.